When I am not coaching, presenting or writing, I also run a business women’s networking group in my region called the Athena Network. I love it because it gives me the opportunity to meet, mingle with and mentor some incredible women in business. I’ve made many friends through Athena and have benefited from the wealth of expert resources available to outsource various aspects of my business and concentrate on the things that I love to do (because we generally do best that which we love and it’s better to find someone who excels at the things that you do slowly – or put off doing at all).
I also network to bring people into my own network. This morning I found myself having a very thought-provoking conversation with another coach. We were discussing what brought us to the position and profession we’re in today. I was telling him about the Single Mum’s Survival Guide and explaining that it was my own personal experiences as a single mum which had prompted me to write my book. He asked me some very searching questions, including: “In all your relationships, what has been the common denominator?” “Do you always have to be the strong one, the ‘grown-up’ and does that give your partner permission not to be?”
Think about this now, from your own perspective. Has there been a common denominator in your past relationships? Do you always take a role, with your partner playing another? However different each new relationship is, can your own behaviour explain someone else’s and are you happy with the resulting situation?
All good coaching raises questions and of course it is the answers that we give which result in us finding our own solutions.
I had quite an evening last night. I was due to attend an 
especially at night and it was fascinating to see how much Covent Garden has changed. New shops, bars, cafes, take-away street food joints and restaurants have sprung up everywhere – some so small that they are literally a hole in the wall. It made me wonder how any of them survive in such a competitive market, but then I began to get a sense that instead of worrying about the competition, the most appealing ones seemed to have simply concentrated on being quirky, authentic and true to themselves. We could all learn a lesson from that.
Across the UK today, parents of GCSE students will be either celebrating or commiserating. But what can you do if your child’s results are more disaster than triumph today?
The last year has been quite a challenge, to put mildly, and I was really looking forward to a week away from it all. For me, the whole process of choosing, booking and anticipating adds to the experience of travelling. Choosing the destination is exciting. I had never been to Croatia before but from what I heard it was gorgeous (it is!) I’d done lots of research online and I chose a charming old hotel with views of the harbour.
Luckily, the reality has been even better. It was my first holiday with my boyfriend and we have had a wonderfully relaxing, fun time. But I’m glad I have taken time to enjoy the journey, not just focusing on the destination. And rest assured, I made sure to savour every precious moment of the trip, rather than dwelling on how soon we would be departing for normal life back in the UK.
Recently, my eldest son landed his ideal starter job on his career journey. Sure, he worked at a well-known supermarket during his college course, but we always discussed that this would just be a stop gap to earn money before getting serious about what he really wants to do in his life. There was a time, after the rotten year the boys and I had last year, when college had finished and I thought he’d lost his customary focus and energy. I kept asking him, “What’s happening about your job applications? Are you still looking? Don’t leave it too long!” I remember feeling exasperated when a promising job came up, but he dragged his heels too long and he missed the application date. He started doubting that anyone would want to hire him because he was new and inexperienced. I was getting frustrated with him and then I realised that he had worked so hard on his course and dealing with our family crisis – literally holding himself together – and perhaps he just needed a break. We all need to cut ourselves some slack some times. So I continued to gently nudge him every now and then but I stopped nagging him.
cracked a joke! On the day of his second interview I got up early to write his good luck card and told him that they’d be lucky to have him. I wrote that his research and preparation had been immaculate and that he had all the abilities required. The interview went smoothly and they promised to call early the next week. I was on my way out to the gym before running a meeting but when the phone rang that morning I decided to wait and see whether it was that important call. The gym could wait – being there for him was way more important! Needless to say, it was good news and I was so happy to be there to hug him and congratulate him in his excitement. My partner and I took him and his girlfriend out to a celebration dinner that evening.
It’s happening in households across the country – children sitting their GCSEs or A Levels are suffering from exam stress. As parents, we suffer too – trying to encourage our children to revise long enough and well enough, testing them on subjects that we have long-forgotten. Somehow these now seem to be ramped up with a bewildering array of new facts and new ways of learning and presenting a topic that we may only dimly remember from our own schooldays. We also have to make sure that our children get enough rest, nourishment, relaxation and encouragement. I was speaking to Tracey Campbell, a homeopath, recently and she explained that many of her exam-age clients are presenting with sleep-related problems. You know yourself that when you are worried about something, sleep can be elusive. This can mean that you can’t get to sleep at all, that you wake up with a start in the middle of the night or that sleep is restless and shallow and you wake up exhausted. Did you know that a homeopath can offer relief from some if not all of these symptoms? 
end of my 9 year partnership at the end of August.
It’s the Easter holidays. Most mums are currently experiencing both the joys of having their children at home for the Easter Holidays and the slightly frazzled feeling of having to be Chef, Children’s Argument Umpire and Chief Entertainment Officer. Not me though – my boys have flown off to Portugal with their Dad for the entire two weeks.
Single Mum's Survival Guide 