Finding The Common Denominator

single mum's survival guide logoWhen I am not coaching, presenting or writing, I also run a business women’s networking group in my region called the Athena Network. I love it because it gives me the opportunity to meet, mingle with and mentor some incredible women in business. I’ve made many friends through Athena and have benefited from the wealth of expert resources available to outsource various aspects of my business and concentrate on the things that I love to do (because we generally do best that which we love and it’s better to find someone who excels at the things that you do slowly – or put off doing at all).

I also network to bring people into my own network. This morning I found myself having a very thought-provoking conversation with another coach. We were discussing what brought us to the position and profession we’re in today.  I was telling him about the Single Mum’s Survival Guide and explaining that it was my own personal experiences as a single mum which had prompted me to write my book. He asked me some very searching questions, including: “In all your relationships, what has been the common denominator?” “Do you always have to be the strong one, the ‘grown-up’ and does that give your partner permission not to be?”

Think about this now, from your own perspective. Has there been a common denominator in your past relationships? Do you always take a role, with your partner playing another? However different each new relationship is, can your own behaviour explain someone else’s and are you happy with the resulting situation?

All good coaching raises questions and of course it is the answers that we give which result in us finding our own solutions.

My website

My Facebook page

A Special Gift For You This Christmas

I’m off on my holiday tomorrow. My boys have set off to see their Dad, so all that remains is to tidy up the house, make another batch of mince pies, deliver some local Christmas cards and then pack for a fun and festive few days with my lovely husband and cuddly pooch in beautiful Warwickshire, near Stratford Upon Avon.

Christmas Wreath card design 2015Today there is only one thing for it, and that’s to give one of you the gift of some 1:1 coaching with me – to set you up for a wonderful 2016.

Your coaching will be via Skype or telephone and consists of four sessions, plus written assignments in between to help you get the best results possible. I can only give one of these packages away, so to be in with a chance of winning this final prize (worth £300), please email me with your answers to the following three questions:

Please don’t be shy: make sure to email me if you want to be in with a chance of winning. Somebody has to win – and it could be you!

Wishing you and yours a very Happy Christmas and a Peaceful New Year.  With all best wishes from Vivienne

Is Chocolate a Single Mum’s Best Friend?

As Easter approaches, the chocoholics among us who try to eat healthily the rest of the time are presented with a dilemma. Your internal dialogue might perhaps sound something like this: “I know it’s Easter and chocolate is everywhere, but the more I eat the more I want, so this year I’m going to be really sensible and ask everyone not to tempt me. Easter eggs are for the children, after all and I can always “regift” them if someone gives me some chocolates. Just think how virtuous I’ll feel….On the other hand, I do really BADLY want some of that chocolate. And I have had a really tough day! Just one mini egg won’t do any harm and it would be rude not to, wouldn’t it? Mmm, that tasted good. I wonder what the other fillings taste like? Maybe the best thing is just to finish these up now and then there won’t be any left to tempt me (until the next time)”…

Here’s an extract from my book, “THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE” about comfort eating:

We all know about the downside of the sugar rush–the sugar low you get afterwards. Eating too many high carbohydrate-rich or processed foods, or consuming too many sugary drinks or foods can leave you feeling sleepy, sluggish and downhearted. Most of us single Mums have succumbed to comfort eating at some point and the occasional treat is perfectly fine but take it from me, it makes you feel so much worse in the long run and you can get onto a slippery slope which is hard to get off. Before you take a bite, ask yourself first: am I actually thirsty, instead of hungry? How will this feel as it slides into my stomach – not just now but for the rest of the day? Will eating it make both my body and mind feel good in the long run? If the answer is no, consider working out which emotion is eating you, step away from the food and spend a little time paying attention to nourishing your soul and spirit instead.

For those of you who are totally out of control around chocolate, one coaching session with me will sort that out. There’s a wonderful NLP technique called “Like to Dislike” which could convert your addiction to chocolate to a total aversion. Just ask my clients – where you see a piece of delicious, creamy, smooth milk chocolate they now see something which wouldn’t tempt them in a million years! To book your session, please use the contact form below. The session can be in person or via Skype, so distance is no problem.