Unshakeable

There are days where everything you stand for and all you know is called into question. How do you protect yourself against the doubts, criticisms and judgements of others and hang on to what you know to be right and true? Rather than reacting in a knee-jerk fashion, my advice is to slow down, take a breath and go deep within to that feeling place – that place in your body where your gut instinct, your intuition lives. This is going to be your bedrock, your solid foundation which makes you unshakeable. Tuning out the voices of others and the pressing demands of external events takes a bit of practice. Trusting yourself can do, too. When you act and make decisions from here you are armed with the courage of your convictions and the calm of a clear conscience. You may have been knocked sideways but you’ll quickly regain your footing and move forward once more. You can do this.

“THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available now on Amazon and in selected bookshops. Find out about coaching, download the free audio “How to Pick Up The Pieces”or attend one of my free webinars and presentations – email me at vivienne@thelifeyoudeserve.co.uk for more details, or visit http://www.thesinglemumssurvivalguide.com

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Don’t Get Bitter, Get Better – Living With The Scars

I watched an incredible woman interviewed today. As a nine year old child, she was accidentally set alight during a horrific accident with a camping stove whilst mucking around with a group of friends and suffered 75 % burns. So badly burned was she that at one point her head fused with her chest and surgeons had to reconstruct her neck. She also lost her ears when they unwrapped her facial bandages. Now middle aged, she is happily married with a wonderful daughter, a rewarding job and a remarkable take on life. “Don’t get bitter, get better” is one of her mottoes. She explained how she wears a bikini on the beach and is unfazed by the stares she regularly receives from passers by. Why let the judgement of strangers stop you from fully enjoying every single moment of your life?

As she pointed out, we all have scars – it’s just that hers are visible. “Don’t get bitter, get better” and don’t let anything (or anyone) stop you from living a full and happy life.

“THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available now on Amazon and in selected bookshops. Find out about coaching, download the free audio “How to Pick Up The Pieces”or attend one of my free webinars and presentations – email me at vivienne@thelifeyoudeserve.co.uk for more details, or visit http://www.thesinglemumssurvivalguide.com

Break Free or Play It Safe?

So: Scotland decided this week to stay in the United Kingdom, rather than breaking away and going it alone. By all accounts, it was a close-run thing and at one point it looked like it could go either way.

Many single mums were faced with the same dilemma – whether to break away from an existing relationship or stay in a situation which -for all its faults and drawbacks- may have seemed like the “safe” option, offering the comfort of the expected and the routine of the same old day-to-day. Staying put can seem easier, even if life with your partner is hell, than telling him and the rest of the world that the relationship has failed and suffering the consequences. These consequences can be harsh, with less money, less time and less energy.

All this brings to mind a coaching client of mine who escaped from a controlling husband. Whilst she acknowledges that this was the best thing she ever did, it is now my job to help her grasp the courage of her conviction and discover the techniques she will need to put in place so that her ex does not continue to bully and control her through the children and she doesn’t lose touch of how precious her hard-won freedom is. After all, what good is freedom if you can’t enjoy it? Peace of mind isn’t the only thing to be gained – she’ll also be able to hold her head up high, knowing that by her actions and by her daily example she has taught her children how to live true to their individual beliefs and values and how to keep hold of their own unique identity without handing over control to someone else.

“THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available now on Amazon and in selected bookshops. Find out about coaching, download the free audio “How to Pick Up The Pieces”or attend one of my free webinars and presentations – email me at vivienne@thelifeyoudeserve.co.uk for more details, or visit http://www.thesinglemumssurvivalguide.com

What’s More Important – The Journey or The Destination?

I attended a meeting in Somerset today – that’s many miles from where I live and you might think that when I discovered it would be 3 hours’ drive each way this would put me off going. Actually, no it didn’t because I had already decided to enjoy the ride. It was a perfectly still morning, with sunshine just breaking through the mist. The traffic flowed freely and I’d allowed enough time, so I wasn’t feeling stressed or anxious. Much of the countryside was new to me, so I enjoyed the glimpses of rolling fields and the different look and colour of the old cottages in the hamlets and villages I passed through. After listening to one of my favourite albums nice and loud and singing along to the choruses, I decided to continue with my education and played the rest of a personal development audio programme by Brian Tracy that I’ve been working through for the last few weeks. The hours in the car gave me calm and peaceful reflection time and a chance to crystallize what I’d heard into new thoughts and plans to put into focus the actions I’d be taking when I got home. A lot of people spend their time obsessing about the destination (when I’ve finally found a new partner/made my millions/lost 2 stone, then I’ll be happy). But what if now is all there is? The past is history, the future’s a mystery, as they say. So you might as well make the most of the journey and not while away your life waiting for some day to finally come!

On Thursday 11th September I am co-hosting a free seminar in Brighton with a family lawyer, a financial planner and a mortgage broker. It’s your chance to get informed with free and friendly advice about the best way to deal with financial, legal and accommodation issues you may be facing – not to mention the steps you’ll need to take to build a happy new life. I’ll also be signing copies of my book. So come along for coffee and cake and a chance to “get savvy”! It’s free – all you need to do is to choose the best time for you (10 am – 12 or 7 pm – 9 pm) and book your place by emailing sparsons@mayowynnebaxter.co.uk or ringing 01273 223220. See you on the other side…

My book, “THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available on Amazon and selected bookshops. For your free audio download entitled “How To Build a Happy New Life”, please fill in your name and email in the form below. 

Routines – Bore or Blessing?

OK, so I’m a creative person, a free spirit, spontaneous, fun; routines are for boring people, routines are dreary and dull…or so I used to think. I have to admit though that over the years I’ve come to realise that if I’d embraced routines earlier in my life I would have made things an awful lot easier for myself when I was a single mum! Routines are very helpful when bringing up children because they save you all a lot of stress at the last minute. Routines I especially love at present are my son’s launch pad, where he gets things ready for school the next day and a similar process I have for planning my clothes, packing my bag or briefcase and mentally (or physically, on my “to do” list) ticking off things I’ll need for the next day – especially if I have an early start. I’ve also come to love coming down to a clean kitchen in the morning, with all of last night’s supper things washed up or loaded into the dishwasher. It’s the little things in life that get you down (think how much damage a mosquito can do!) but it’s also the little things that build you up and help you fly.

On Thursday 11th September I am co-hosting a free seminar in Brighton with a family lawyer, a financial planner and a mortgage broker. It’s your chance to get informed with free and friendly advice about the best way to deal with financial, legal and accommodation issues you may be facing – not to mention the steps you’ll need to take to build a happy new life. I’ll also be signing copies of my book. So come along for coffee and cake and a chance to “get savvy”! It’s free – all you need to do is to choose the best time for you (10 am – 12 or 7 pm – 9 pm) and book your place by emailing sparsons@mayowynnebaxter.co.uk or ringing 01273 223220. See you on the other side…

My book, “THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available on Amazon and selected bookshops. For your free audio download entitled “How To Build a Happy New Life”, please fill in your name and email in the form below. 

Stand By Your Man?

As the lurid news continues to unfold surrounding Paul Ross and his drug-taking and gay affair, my heart goes out to his wife and mother of his four children. She has decided (at least for the time being) to stand by her man. Whilst some may find this incomprehensible, I can understand only too well how a mother’s instinct to keep her family together can kick in at a time of extreme crisis – even faced with the news of such humiliating indiscretions. When I first learned of my (ex) husband’s affair, my instinct was the same; in order to keep my precious family together I,too, would have stood by my man. In my case my decision was irrelevant – he’d made up his mind to leave. Later I realised what a huge compromise it would have been for me to accept his behaviour and continue with the marriage – who knows if I would have succeeded, or been happy living with the lies and betrayal. But I would say that you never know what you’d do until or unless you are faced with that situation, so it remains for me to wish her well in the painful throes of this very public dilemma. I hope that – at the very least – she has plenty of support and some expert, impartial advice to help her decide what’s best for her and the children.

On Thursday 11th September I am co-hosting a free seminar in Brighton with a family lawyer, a financial planner and a mortgage broker. It’s your chance to get informed with free and friendly advice about the best way to deal with financial, legal and accommodation issues you may be facing – not to mention the steps you’ll need to take to build a happy new life. I’ll also be signing copies of my book. So come along for coffee and cake and a chance to “get savvy”! It’s free – all you need to do is to choose the best time for you (10 am – 12 or 7 pm – 9 pm) and book your place by emailing sparsons@mayowynnebaxter.co.uk or ringing 01273 223220. See you on the other side…

My book, “THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available on Amazon and selected bookshops. For your free audio download entitled “How To Build a Happy New Life”, please fill in your name and email in the form below. 

Back To School

After a long – and surprisingly hot – summer, it’s back to school for many families as term time starts again this week. In the case of my youngest son this has involved some considerable changes; not only have we discovered that he needs glasses for reading, he’s also had to learn to tie a tie as his school uniform now includes a blazer and tie! Being the tender age of 14, once the novelty has worn off he will adapt to both these changes with ease and life will carry on as normal.

Adapting to changes as an adult can be a whole lot scarier and a good deal more difficult. If you are a newly-single mum you may be grappling with emotional changes, financial changes and all the legal implications of separation and divorce. I’d like to help you with these changes, so that you too can adapt with ease and grace and the minimal amount of panic possible. On Thursday 11th September I am co-hosting a free seminar in Brighton with a family lawyer, a financial planner and a mortgage broker. It’s your chance to get informed with free and friendly advice about the best way to deal with financial, legal and accommodation issues you may be facing – not to mention the steps you’ll need to take to build a happy new life. I’ll also be signing copies of my book. So come along for coffee and cake and a chance to “get savvy”! It’s free – all you need to do is to choose the best time for you (10 am – 12 or 7 pm – 9 pm) and book your place by emailing sparsons@mayowynnebaxter.co.uk or ringing 01273 223220. See you on the other side…

My book, “THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available on Amazon and selected bookshops. For your free audio download entitled “How To Build a Happy New Life”, please fill in your name and email in the form below.