Chances are, you will be thinking about New Year’s Resolutions today – even if it’s merely to decide you don’t want to make any! You’re probably familiar with the statistics that show just how few New Year’s Resolutions make it past the middle of January before being consigned to the “nice idea but it’s never going to work” pile. I’d like to encourage you to look at this New Year in a different way.
First of all, let’s start with the past year. Close your eyes and just spend a couple of minutes thinking about all your achievements in 2014. They don’t have to make sense to anyone else, as long as they mean something to you. For instance, you may be going through a divorce or separation. What are the valuable things you’ve learned about yourself? Are there any occasions where you really stood up for what you believe, or showed authenticity, integrity, courage, compassion or strength of character? As a single mum, what worked best in your parenting and home life? When did you manage to not just survive, but really feel like you were thriving? Take a moment to jot that list down, then review and celebrate! Light a candle or give yourself a treat to acknowledge all those successes.
Next: how to deal with what you didn’t achieve? Recognise that your life is a work in progress. You may not have achieved the goal, but did you at least make some headway? Do you need some help or extra resources to empower you to achieve your targets? Be totally honest with yourself and rule out the “shoulds”, “musts” and “ought to”s. Goals should be motivating and inspiring, not fill you with dread. Perhaps it’s time to cross out those?
Finally, what would you like less of or more of in 2015? Don’t pick goals that are so big you don’t actually believe you’re capable of achieving them. At the same time, pick something that’s going to stretch you out of your comfort zone and be big enough to really excite you. Make sure you spend some time thinking Why you want to have, be or do this. Write goals down in the present tense, stating the time and date and describe where you are and how you are feeling. Use words which excite you (check the feeling in your body as you write or say them to be sure). Keep your list handy and take action every day, making sure to affirm and feel grateful for the achievement of your goal as if you’ve already achieved it. Have fun and make 2015 your best year yet!
Click here to register for THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE TO BUILDING A HAPPY NEW LIFE – a FREE online webinar series with guest experts on: DEALING WITH THE BREAK-UP, TELLING THE KIDS, DIVORCE/MEDIATION, FINANCES, FITNESS AND ENERGY, DATING AGAIN, FORGIVENESS AND MOVING ON.