I set out early on Saturday morning, feeling excited about attending a course run by the incomparable Shaa Wasmund. A glowing example of female business success, Shaa went from journalism to being the only female manager in the male-dominated world of boxing, to helping James Dyson become a worldwide brand with his innovative vacuum cleaners. From there she went on to form Smarta (a UK small business advisory service), become a multiple bestselling author and entrepreneur and win an MBE for services to business and entrepreneurship. She is without doubt an inspiration to working mothers everywhere and I was in a buoyant mood as I pulled into the petrol station to fill up with fuel for my journey to London.
As I queued at the till, I became aware of one of the servers, who was holding forth to his colleagues in a loud voice. He was still talking when it was my turn to pay but by now his diatribe had taken on a rather more disturbing vein. The phrase that stood out for me -and all the rest of his captive audience- was “Women are all thieving b*tches!” His colleague and I both remonstrated with him but there was no apology forthcoming and as I returned somewhat shakily to my car, I looked up to see him glaring malevolently at me through the window of the kiosk.
It’s not the first time, of course, that I have witnessed such blatant misogyny. It soon became apparent that my second husband had a deep-rooted mistrust and scorn for women which bubbled away below the surface only to erupt with frightening consequences and perhaps it was his echo that I heard in this other man’s voice that made me feel so disturbed and distressed. Don’t get me wrong. I have met the odd man-hater in my time too. I was once a guest on a talk show about victims or perpetrators of infidelity (thereby lies another tale!) and a fellow guest had a tattoo on her arm which proclaimed “Trust No Man” in Japanese! The parallel term for misogyny (hatred of women) is misandry (hatred of men). Let’s stop these terrible generalisations right now. Whatever life or one particular member of the opposite sex has thrown at us, surely it’s no justification for perpetrating aggression and prejudice towards an entire gender? We need to watch our mouths before our children mark our words and a whole new generation learns to hate.
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