A Break Doesn’t Need to be Heartbreaking

single mum's survival guide logoIt’s the Easter holidays. Most mums are currently experiencing both the joys of having their children at home for the Easter Holidays and the slightly frazzled feeling of having to be Chef, Children’s Argument Umpire and Chief Entertainment Officer. Not me though – my boys have flown off to Portugal with their Dad for the entire two weeks.

In the old days I found letting them go almost unbearable, much as I needed a break and the chance to recharge my batteries and catch up on chores and my social life. When they were tiny I used to wander into their empty rooms once they’d been collected and have a little cry before giving myself a stern pep talk and trying to snap out of it. I worried about whether the baby had enough nappies and clothes, whether my little boy had his favourite toy and books and whether they’d be missing their mum and home as desperately as I was missing them.

These days, at 16 (nearly 17) and 20, they are quite old enough to relish the prospect of being away from home for 2 weeks – especially as we can message each other via Facebook or email. The fact that they are gone for the whole holiday wasn’t really something I was consulted on – it was presented as more of a fait accompli. Once upon a time I might have railed against this (in fact I remember doing so in the past when their grandma booked a holiday with them without my prior permission). What steadied me at that time and what I remember to ask now is: what would make the boys happy? Being in the sunshine with a pool, the beach and the other part of their family is definitely something that makes them happy. How churlish would I be to object to that? Besides, what’s the upside of this for me? It’s a chance to catch up with laundry and housework, do some writing and research for my Single Mum’s Survival Guide online course. I can meet up with friends, have my boyfriend to stay and plan my own agenda without having to accommodate anyone else’s.

So this Easter I will be grateful for the freedom, mindful to choose my battles wisely (or walk away from them altogether) and I’ll remember that what makes my children happy makes me happy. I wish you all a happy and peaceful holidays, whatever you are doing.daffodil basket

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Into Every Life Some Rain Must Fall

It’s been a strange sort of day here – cold one minute, hot the next, periods of brilliant sunshine interspersed with showers or on occasion (as was the case when I walked my dog) both at the same time! It  reminded me of life in general, not to mention the expression “Into every life some rain must fall”. When I think about the single mums I know (many of whose stories feature in my book) and even my own experiences as a single mother, it wouldn’t just be a case of some rain falling…it could better be described as a flood or even a tidal wave some days! So how, exactly, does one learn how to weather the storm?  It’s one of the main reasons that I wrote the book and also why I trained as an NLP and hypnosis practitioner. Once I had made it through to the other side I wanted to reach back and help other single mums through. Like my walk today – sometimes you can’t see the rainbow but you need to learn to trust that it will be there and that’s where I come in!

“THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available to order on Amazon. Visit my website: thesinglemumssurvivalguide.com.