Break Free or Play It Safe?

So: Scotland decided this week to stay in the United Kingdom, rather than breaking away and going it alone. By all accounts, it was a close-run thing and at one point it looked like it could go either way.

Many single mums were faced with the same dilemma – whether to break away from an existing relationship or stay in a situation which -for all its faults and drawbacks- may have seemed like the “safe” option, offering the comfort of the expected and the routine of the same old day-to-day. Staying put can seem easier, even if life with your partner is hell, than telling him and the rest of the world that the relationship has failed and suffering the consequences. These consequences can be harsh, with less money, less time and less energy.

All this brings to mind a coaching client of mine who escaped from a controlling husband. Whilst she acknowledges that this was the best thing she ever did, it is now my job to help her grasp the courage of her conviction and discover the techniques she will need to put in place so that her ex does not continue to bully and control her through the children and she doesn’t lose touch of how precious her hard-won freedom is. After all, what good is freedom if you can’t enjoy it? Peace of mind isn’t the only thing to be gained – she’ll also be able to hold her head up high, knowing that by her actions and by her daily example she has taught her children how to live true to their individual beliefs and values and how to keep hold of their own unique identity without handing over control to someone else.

“THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is available now on Amazon and in selected bookshops. Find out about coaching, download the free audio “How to Pick Up The Pieces”or attend one of my free webinars and presentations – email me at for more details, or visit