“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” —Johnny Cash
As a single mum, whether by choice or somebody else’s design, it’s hard not to feel a failure sometimes. Why did the relationship break down? Why haven’t you been able to create that magical “normal” home (you know the one: it’s often featured in adverts on television, with the shiny happy couple and their adorable kids)? When I was a single mum it sometimes seemed like everyone else was in a couple and all the other children except for mine had a dad to play football with at weekends and take them to the park. What I didn’t appreciate at the time was that I was by no means alone – it’s one of the reasons that I wrote my book: to reassure other single mums that they don’t have to deal with single parenthood in isolation and that help and support is sometimes closer to hand than you could ever imagine.
What I also realised little by little (and what I encourage my readers to embrace) is the fact that you can choose not to describe the breakdown of your relationship as failure but instead as the beginning of a brand new life. Where will you go? What will you be? Which dreams can you now resurrect and how long do you have to wait before you realise that NOW is all the time you have – so get busy working on your new beginning!
Read about my book in the Huffington Post (article by Suzy Miller) http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/suzy-miller/single-mums-survival-guide—would-it-have-helped-me_b_5029874.html and look out for the release of THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE (eBook version) on Amazon tomorrow!