The Truth, The Whole Truth?

This evening I’ve been watching an analysis of a famous American double murder trial. As the prosecution lawyer and the defence lawyer made their final statements to the jury, both sounded so plausible. You might even have observed that each side (and their supporters) were totally and utterly convinced that they alone were in possession of the truth. It’s only in retrospect that we can see what really took place.

In the case of a relationship breakup, this often happens. As the split becomes more pronounced, so too does the difference in the two sides of the story. As with any case where two people are at odds, each becomes more entrenched in his or her position and believes that only they are telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Is it actually just that one person is lying, or is it more complicated than that?

As a coach I know that “the map is not the territory” – in other words, we all perceive reality through our own set of filters and preconceptions. “So how does this relate to me, as a single mum?” I hear you say. My point is this: Your truth is your truth and nobody can take that away from you. You have a right to tell your story. But don’t be surprised if your ex’s version is different and try not to spend too much of your precious energy arguing about who was right or wrong if that serves no purpose right now. Ask yourself this: what really matters today and from this day onwards? How can my child and I step forwards into the light and build our brand new life?

I’m launching my book, “THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How To Pick Up The Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” this Friday 4th July, 7.30 – 9.00 pm at The Steyning Bookshop, 106 High Street, Steyning, West Sussex. If you’d like to come and meet me and get your signed copy, come and join me for a glass of wine and some nibbles and you’re welcome to bring a friend. Or contact me via my website,


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