As my husband gets ready for his mammoth car journey to East Germany to see his son and daughter (a whole day’s driving each way, taking a route that goes through France, Belgium and the Netherlands before he even hits German soil), I’m reflecting on how important it is for children who reside with their mother to have regular contact with their father. Staying in touch with them hasn’t been easy for him. His ex partner did not accept the breakdown of their relationship and at times did everything possible to make things as hard as they could be for him to see them. There’ve been tears, there’ve been arguments there’s been a fair amount of emotional blackmail. Add to that the distance and the language barrier (they have not been encouraged to learn English at home, so all they’ve been able to communicate with is the basic German my husband has picked up and the few words of English he teaches them when he visits) and you can imagine that there have been times when it almost seemed easier to give up. However, I’m proud to say that he has remained dogged in his determination to be a part of their lives and even if the time and monetary cost means that he only sees them three times a year I am touched and amazed at the strong bond he has with them. They say that love crosses all barriers and to watch them run to greet him, laugh at his games and silly faces, snuggle up with him at bedtime and tenderly say goodbye at the end of a visit would bring a tear to the sternest eye. So my plea to all the single mums out there is: no matter what went wrong between the two of you, put the children’s emotional well-being at the forefront of your mind. It may not be safe to allow contact. Your ex may have chosen not to continue contact. But unless that’s the case, please remember: kids need fathers too!
My book, “THE SINGLE MUM’S SURVIVAL GUIDE – How to Pick Up the Pieces and Build a Happy New Life” is out now on Amazon as an eBook and hits the shops as a paperback on 1st July. For your free chapter, please contact me in the form below.